l> Mrs. Betty Bowers' Terrorist Watch: How to Spot A Typical Middle Eastern Male Terrorist
M E M O R A N D U M
From: Robert S. Mueller, III, FBI Director
To: Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian
Cc: Beverley LaHaye, Concerned Women for America; Phyllis Schlafly, Eagle Forum; Gladys Kravitz, Concerned Women for America; Sean Hannity, Hysteria & Paranoia Czar for FoxNews
Re: How to spot a Middle Eastern terrorist

The FBI shares your outraged concern about religious fanatics who aren't Christian. Because the Bureau specializes in generating after-the-fact paperwork, we already have the answer to your question: "What would one of those filthy, annoying potential terrorists most likely look like, dear?" After viewing over 18 hours of surveillance camera tapes from a convenience store in Boston and a "Chador & More!" shop in Amman, a Bureau sketch artist has generated the following composite of what a typical male from the Middle East looks like. Please keep it in your expensive handbag, next to your firearm, and be ready to shoot with furious righteousness and pander to niggling legal niceties, if possible, later. Onward Christian warriors!

Vogue Saudi Arabia: What is the natty terrorist wearing this season?