This is where Deloris Draper comes in! Deloris works for Marla Jennings Christian Realty, which specializes in finding homes for the saved shopper blessed with a huge down payment. ("Before you trade-up to your mansion of gold in Glory, come see me, Dolores Draper!").

"Gay boys tend to like those gentrified neighborhoods with a hodgepodge of different building styles," dryly observes Deloris with an expression of righteous recoil, as if she had just walked into a formal dining room and found that it didn't have a wallpaper border with festive tulips -- and matching polished cotton swaged curtains! "I try to get them out of that unhealthy environment lickety-split and into a subdivision with a homeowners' association that cares as much about what the residents are doing under their bed sheets as they do about whether they are using them for window treatments! As a Republican, nothing beats a planned community chock full of brink-fronted and faux-stucco homes in a mind-boggling selection based on subtle variations of three floor plans. After all, if we don't trust people who are different, why should we put up with willful architecture that refuses to conform, too?"