As most of you BITCHs know, Marge Davis is the advertising sponsor for this glorious website. (Click HERE to visit her on-line store.) Since Mrs. Bowers never furnishes any of her lovely homes from stock, she would have no occasion to purchase any of Marge's appalling reproductions or tchotchkes. But some of you might.

Mrs. Bowers reluctantly recognizes that many of you out there remain unaware of the fact that taste is something you buy. Some of you who are clearly incapable of picking a suitable fabric for a simple scarf, quite inexplicably think you have the ability to choose swatches for entire sofas! Since Mrs. Bowers has no intention of ever visiting such a residence, she will just have to assume that you are pleased with your purchases from Mrs. Davis in the way that the people who buy poorly framed impressionist prints from The Bombay Company assume they have added art to their residence.

Well, I have some very sad news, which Marge has asked me not to share, so I will only utter this out of Christian compassion to those of you who visit my website. Marge's marriage is in deep trouble. How do I know? Naturally, since I allow Marge to advertise on my website, I must ensure that her Christian character is irreproachable and her ethics comport with the highest standards. So, unbeknownst to her, I record all of her phone calls and have my staff listen for offense. The following is an actual recording of Marge Davis trying to find her wayward husband at a massage parlor. The woman she spoke with is rather coarse and I advise only saved adults to listen to this message:

Isn't that so sad?  Each time I have played that recording to someone, it has broken my heart. As I told Marge just yesterday, "You know, I was thinking about you and your problem this afternoon and I clipped this article from Redbook for you called Dealing with the Other Woman: How to Remove the Lipstick From the Lips, Instead of the Collar. It seems like a real good article. Although it did have that sort of cheap intensity to it that I, for one, think is best left pandering to those sluts who read Cosmopolitan. But fortunately, I didn't need to finish it because keeping a man has just never been a problem for me. You couldn't ask for a better man than my Robert, but someone like you may find it helpful." Marge was so sad; she just sat there and cried. Nothing I said cheered her up!

But you can help Marge get her man back! All you have to do is purchase this lovely glass-top Jesus Breakfast Table (below) and all proceeds will go to hiring private investigators. Not only will your Christian family be served meals by their Savior, you will know that you have helped save one more marriage. And it is so important to keep marriages together because, as I told Marge with Christian love, once a woman is divorced she is a harlot in the eyes of God and must be ostracized by all who are decent.