Bringing Integrity To Christian Homemakers Christian Craft Workshop Learn how to sew your very own Summer Shroud of Turin! When you see how it complements your figure, you'll think it's a miracle, too! Praise the Lord!

Are you a saved woman on a budget looking for something that proclaims "The Lord is Here!" every time you walk into a room? Do you have trouble finding snappy outfits with enough acreage of fabric to circumnavigate your enormous girth? Well, you are in luck!

Come to the next Bringing Integrity To Christian Homemakers workshop in the basement of Landover Church. We have got us a wonderful program! Mrs. Dora Denkins, direct from the Dothan, Alabama chapter of Bringing Integrity To Christian Homemakers, will show everyone how, with a bolt of Rayon, a half-cup of goat's blood and the assistance of a medium-sized long-haired vagrant, everyone can work miracles with the help of Sinplicity Pattern's new fab Summer Shroud of Turin.

The pattern is available in both "historic" and "tea-length" versions.

And the fatter you are: the more times you will see the face of Christ across your new outfit! Praise!

Fabric and goat's blood are covered by your membership fee, but please supply your own vagrant. Make plans to join us!