Mrs. Bobby Ray (Tammy) Jenkins, Barkersfield CA: After sitting and staring at an I Love Lucy marathon on cable for about 4 hours, my 2-year-old little Patsy put on a leatard and tried to stick her tiny leg behind the banister on the stairs leading out back. I guess she thought her ass was at the goddamned ballet or something! It wasn't until after The Weakest Link was over that I realized she'd dropped my popcorn and broke her little leg. It is three weeks later and Patsy can still barely walk to the rec room to get me a cocktail for breakfast because of that irresponsible Lucy Ball woman! When is Hollywood going to start taking responsibility – Patsy, I said SWEET vermouth! Are you fukken' deaf? – for what they are doing to our impressionable children?"