Mrs. Rufus (Trixie) Lamay, Raleigh, NC: I never had a lick of trouble from my Shaniquatina until that Lucile Ball got up in my business. One night when I was in the finals – well, actually, I think it was only the semi-finals that night – of the "Best [un-Christian word]" contest at a very respectable gentleman's club, Shaniquatina and her brother Hunter watched Nickelodeon. They saw that episode where Lucy Ricardo gets knives thrown at her. By the time I got home at 3am, most of Hunter was pinned to the armoire in my bedroom with seven German steak knives. Shaniquatina had run off with the remaining five knives from the set. That really burned me up 'cause they had been a wedding gift. Last I heard, Shaniquatina was stabbing folks at Crabtree Mall for the Cubans. I haven't seen her since. If you see that Lucy Ricardo woman, tell her I want a word with her.