----- Original Message -----

From: "Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian" <betty@bettybowers.com>

To: <drudge@drudgereport.com>

Sent: Wednesday, January 22, 2003 12:27 PM

Subject: John Edwards & George W. Bush's Positions on Gum Control

Dear Mr. Drudge:

I'm rather surprised that the comely Mr. Edwards would be taken to task for chewing gum. Yes, he is a dreadful Demon-crat (and in this age of image, more handsome than our President and must, therefore, be vilified at every turn), but perhaps he was simply trying to be more presidential. I distinctly recall watching our unassailably dignified President George W. Bush at the recent Kennedy Center Honors. Throughout the long telecast, he was chomping on a seemingly enormous wad of gum that appeared to be fighting back quite tenaciously. And I also have a photo of him spitting a slick piece of gum into his hands while on official business in Europe (no doubt, simply obliging the locals in one of their many unhygienic customs). Also, please note attached photo of our President getting his much-used MBA while blowing bubbles of gum for the amusement of the class.

George W. Bush at Harvard on an the "I Know He Only Got C's, But He's MY Son" affirmative action program		George W. Bush showing Europeans how to tastefully remove Bubblicious between courses.

No doubt, Mr. Edwards, aware of George W. Bush's rather refined penchant for gnawing on big sloppy clumps of gum in public, simply was emulating such a lovely, statesmanlike example. And since it is, no doubt, my fellow Bush supporters who put a wad in your ear over this supposed outrage, I am almost surprised by their lack of memory, dear. I shall roundly rebuke them when I see them at the next revival (and when you've been rebuked by Betty Bowers, you STAY rebuked).

So close to Jesus, I know by how many votes George W. Bush *really* lost,

Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian (and Most Saved Baptist)

A woman known throughout Christendom for her joie d'après vivre