Dear Betty Bowers:

Lately I've been wondering if there is Prada in Heaven. You have pointed out the dangers of letting oneself be clothed and hair-styled by heterosexuals; but unfortunately the sodomites, despite their impeccable taste, are all Hell-bound. How, then, do the blessed keep up with fashion?

If we go by the pictures, not well. I mean... long wavy tresses, even for the men? Hippy-dippy sandals? Baggy white toga-robes? And on top of these fashion don'ts, everybody has to accessorize with a harp? How dreary! And how embarrassing for the Lord, if Satan turned out to be better dressed than Him!

Evidently the Lord displays typical straight-male lack of sartorial taste. When you get to Heaven, what do you plan to do about this?

Sincerely,

your fan,

Nathaniel Hellerstein