Dear Dowdy in Dallas (and, let's face it, who isn't?):

Believing that sincerity is almost as important as a crisp hemline, I must say that the very idea of being "over dressed" is quite foreign to me, dear. One can be unsuitably dressed, but never "over" dressed.

As someone who has spent countless hours in abortion clinic protests, I think I speak with some authority on the appropriate attire for such occasions. First of all, NEVER take your fashion cues from those around you. While I won't say an unkind word about my fellow sisters in Christ, an unkind word about their wardrobe is unavoidable. Denim and poly-cotton tees that say cute things are best left in the trailer park, dear.

Indeed, make it your goal to be the most fabulously turned out when the tear gas falls! There is a reason for this beyond simply showing other women up (as if that weren't enough!) If you are wearing a lovely 3 ply silk A-line Calvin Klein camel suit, no one will think twice if you say, "I'm sorry, I simply cannot get down on the ground in THIS!" If you are wearing lovely cultured pearl bracelets, no one will balk when you say, "I simply cannot put myself in a position where I might be handcuffed with THESE!" If you are wearing a plush Prada cashmere coat, no one will look askance when you say, "I simply cannot climb into that filthy police car in THIS!"

Now for life's biggest question: heel size. Some would argue for a "sensible heel." Au contraire! Wear the longest, pointiest heel you own. That way, if one of those vile abortionists hits the ground, you will have something to grind into her face. As you are not going to get on the ground, be handcuffed or climb into a police car, it is the least you can do to help!

So Close to Jesus, I'm Allowed to Sin All Day on Thursdays,