Dear Wondering:

The Ladies of Landover Baptist's "Dawn Bible Study" yesterday involved a rather hot-tempered discussion about the Lord's Blessed Flatulence. We all know from Isaiah 16:11 what God's flatulence sound like ("Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp for Moab"). While we had some disagreement about whether it is an actual song or just random notes, we agreed to disagree, with most of us leaning heavily in favor of a little snippet from the, pardon the expression, third movement of Beethoven's 9th Symphony.

Where we really broke into very heated disagreement was over the actual aroma of this Heavenly Flatulence. Regrettably, there is no guidance in the Bible in this regard. Sister Taffy is absolutely adamant that the Winds on High smell like fresh-baked pineapple upside-down cake. But I'm not so sure. I am quite certain, however, that Sister Suzzanna Beth's suggestion that it smells like Elizabeth Taylor's Black Diamonds is completely misguided. In the end, we compromised by deciding that the Lord's Fumes most likely evoke a rather musky potpourri aroma that would be rather oppressive on humid days.

So Close To Jesus That Communion Is Like Leftovers,