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This month's Friend Of Our Lord Award
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THOSE WHO RISE ABOVE THE PERSONAL DISINTEREST THEY HAVE IN PROTECTING THEIR OWN MARRIAGES, TO SPEAK OUT PUBLICLY IN FAVOR OF THE IDEA OF MARRIAGE.
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Laura Schlessinger
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Bob Barr
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Mrs. Bowers is outraged. I haven't been this angry since German tourists discovered Prague. I am, of course, in an absolute stew over the Vermont Supreme Court ruling that those damned homosexuals have a right to be in committed relationships.
Fortunately, there are people with the courage to speak out against homos being allowed to stay together. While I am usually reluctant to even acknowledge (much less praise) the unsaved, I must thank radio entertainer Laura Schlessinger for recognizing the marketing opportunity the Vermont decision presented for her show. While she is not someone I would have handpicked to speak on moral issues, not every porn-posing, home wrecking, fornicating, divorcee has an audience of millions who can flood Vermont with outraged calls on cue! (I just hope the Governor of Vermont knows how to give them the brusque humiliation that they so inexplicably crave.)
I would also like to thank thrice married Republican congressman Bob Barr who introduced the Defense of Marriage Act in Congress. I applaud his ability to not let his apparent insouciance over any of his actual marriages to stand in the way of his vocally defending the idea of marriage.
Naturally, it might have been better to have gotten Christians who had never been divorced to advocate the protection of marriage. It is, however, becoming rather difficult to find Christians who have not divorced. Indeed, we Baptists are about the worst (well, next to snakehandlers). Can we be honest for an ever so brief moment? Since, according to my private investigators, only saved, born again heterosexuals read my website, I feel that I we can speak entre nous. (If asked by the secular media about this, or indeed anything that is unfavorable to my stated Republican positions, I shall do the Christian thing and lie.)
With that caveat, here are the divorce statistics:
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Percentage Divorced
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source: www.barna.org
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Don't you see the problem these facts present? While the bible forbids divorce (unless the wife is a slut -- Matthew 5:32), the more saved a person is, the more likely they are to ignore the Bible and divorce! Clearly, if these statistics get out, everyone will be on to us. Further, this means that if we allow homos to marry, since they are the least saved people on the planet, they are likely to never divorce! Imagine how bad that will make all of us who say we actually follow the Bible look! That is why it is imperative that we never allow those Nancy Boys to get without 100 feet of an altar.
So please call the Governor's office in Vermont and tell him that it is in saved people's best interest to keep those degenerates in as many relationships possible. (This, of course, has the ancillary benefit of allowing us to also point to how wildly unstable they are by not staying in a relationship. Praise the Lord!)
Vermont Governor's Office: 802-828-3333
Governor's Fax: 802-828-3339
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Which American Woman is Most Fit to Provide Moral Guidance in this New Century?
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Betty Bowers
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Laura Schlessinger
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Born-Again Saved Christian
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Porn-Again Unsaved Jew
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Our Blessed Lord has already damned her straight to Hell for that bordello-motif headboard alone. Praise the Lord!
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