President Bush Reveals His 18-Hole Plan to Invade Iraq

George W. Bush credits the ancient Scottish tradition with helping him to maintain his trim, natty appearance. The President appeared not to hear reporters when asked if he was referring to golf or whiskey.
(AP) Using a golf ball and a set of Ping clubs, President Bush demonstrated to members of the press his administration's current plans for bringing down Iraqi Saddam Hussein.

"You see," said the President, using a seven-iron to point, "That Osama fellow was hard to hit because he was in the rough. So that whole 'we got to hit Osama to win the game' thing was sort of a mulligan. We just forget about all that. But, you see, that Saddam fellow is out there on the green. It's almost like he has a big sick in his head with a flag flying. Sure, you can miss a few times, but you know where the sonofabitch is. So, eventually, you are going to drop him."

President Bush and his father look for the ball they had designated "that Anthrax guy" for several seconds before giving it up for lost.
Later, Mr. Bush showed the press specifically what he has in mind for Saddam Hussein when he placed a glistening Titlest pond ball, retrieved that morning by his mother Barbara, on a tee. "You see that there ball?" asked the President. "Well, that is Saddam's head. Only white. Tee-hee. And this here club is me."

The President made sure the press understood his analogy by asking: "You following me here? The ball is Saddam and the club – well, actually, just the heavy metal part at the very end – is me! Hee-hee. Now watch what I plan to do to the bastard."

After several swings, the President made contact with Mr. Hussein, sending a pack of Secret Service agents scurrying into an adjacent parking lot to find him. Afterward, turning to his father in their golf cart, the President was overheard to remark, "I think Saddam knows that I mean business now. And everyone didn't believe me when I said this was going to be a working vacation. Thirteen holes down – only six to go!"

Home | Betty's YouTube | Terms of Service | Write to Betty |Get Betty's FREE Newsletter | Landover | Betty's Facebook

© Mrs. Betty Bowers 2000-2014 All Rights Reserved