 |
|
|
|
PASITANO, ITALY (AP). While vacationing with her two sons on the Amalfi Coast last week, Amercian religious leader and business woman Mrs. Betty Bowers treated locals and tourists alike to a bone fide miracle. Mrs. Sol Rubenstein, of New York, said, "I walked over to her to see if all the diamonds on her Gucci sunglasses were real. I was amazed when she said they were because there must have been about 40 karats worth. But she just said, 'Aren't they just the kickiest?'" It was right after this exchange that Mrs. Rubenstein said the miracle occurred. One of Mrs. Bowers' buff and cut sons came running up from the sea, his swim trunks wet and clinging to his hard body, leaving nothing to the imagination. "He looked like something from one of those Abercrombie & Fitch catalogs," Mrs. Rubenstein breathlessly recounted, "I couldn't keep my eyes off his abs! Anyway, he complained that the Mediterranean was like a big pond because there was no surf. So, his mom puts her fabulous sunglasses into her bag - I could tell it was Bottega - and walks down to the surf." It was then that Mrs. Bowers is reported to have invoked the name of Jesus Christ. Waves worthy of the North Shore of Oahu immediately came crashing on to the pristine beach. Locals claimed they had never seen anything like it. When asked about her miracle, Mrs. Bowers demurred: "Miracle? Now, if you want to talk about my flawless skin-tone - now, that's a miracle! Dear, if a woman can't call in a few chits with her Personal Savior to ensure her son has a lovely vacation, what kind of mother would she be?"
|
|
