America, the kid at the UN with ADD, has something new to take its mercurial attention away from the craziness in Iraq: the even crazier John Mark Karr.  Talk about snakes on a plane!  Finally, a bobble-headed pedophile to make Michael Jackson look, if not blandly benign, at least less heavy-handed with the tattooed eyeliner. We are told that Mr. Karr was in Thailand to have his testicles removed for $1,625.  Apparently, he decided that the more cost-effective approach was simply to be a notorious child molester in a maximum security prison.  That way, his unwanted balls will be removed by a gang of inmates without charge or handling fee.

Yes, it seems that John Mark Karr is all about innovative techniques for saving money. Stuck in Europe with only a standby ticket in coach?  Just admit to killing Natalie Holloway and some desperate DA will fly you home in business class!  You can recant once you've retrieved your luggage.

The Middle East tenaciously cooks up new, clearly insane ways to implode. North Korea precariously kooks up nuclear ways to make the rest of us explode.  Meanwhile, what are Americans doing? Less enthralled by liquids on planes that cause explosive flyovers than those that cause explosive hangovers, America is fixated on John Mark Karr's in-flight champagne,

We are a nation obsessed with the emotional masturbation of endlessly commemorating past tragedies rather than the tedium of trying to prevent new ones. (Let Scotland Yard worry about that!)  Manipulative and maudlin, preferably with schmaltzy pathos set to a soaring score, and just like the reactive, passive Department of Homeland Security we deserve, we devote all our energy and production values to the sadness of yesterday's deaths rather than the madness of allowing tomorrow's.