Because only liberal harlots use the word "condom," much less the product, conservative lady pickle-ticklers are required to be more resourceful. I remember way back when that lots of gals back at Midland High found that they would go through several rolls of Saran during summer break – especially if they wound up under the pier in Galveston! Never having been overly curious, I tend to prefer more opaque products. That's why I recommend cutting a 1-yard square (believe me – this is more than generous) from a Glad Hefty Garden bag and applying it to your hubby's business. Heavens to Betsy, some of you wild gals who open your eyes during this revolting ordeal will get the added, forbidden thrill from the fact that your hubby's pickle is now black and shiny! Goodness!