Tens of Bush Supporters Take to the Streets
Four loyal Americans from Freerepublic.com break the will of 850,000 peacenik protesters with their spirited invective.

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A PRESS RELEASE PROVIDED AS A PUBLIC SERVICE BY THE WHITE HOUSE

While this nation's pansy assed, love bead wearing liberal media delighted in reporting this weekend's sad spectacle of millions of hippie communists loitering on streets throughout the world to show their support for America-hating terrorists, there is another, more important story that was not reported to the American people. To rectify this intentional oversight, the White House Press office has prepared this "information release" to give heart to all those who love President Bush enough to go along with killing any man, woman and little baby for whom he has a smart-bomb surprise up his sleeve.

[NOTE TO FOX NEWS: Start TelePrompTer here]

Over the weekend, throngs in numbers approaching almost 80 people worldwide took to the streets to provide a poignant counterpoint to the fringe-position presented by over 6,000,000 anti-war protesters. Enjoying a courteous distance from one another that was eschewed by the dense crowd of America-hating cowards that filled the streets, sometimes almost a baker's dozen of counter-protesters gathered on street corners and otherwise desolate gas stations in some of America's larger medium-size towns and villages. They came to taunt the Saddam-loving anti-war vermin with placards that tended to dispense with all the geo-political mumbo-jumbo and cut to the heart of the matter by lobbing personal attacks on the traitors who are rude enough to disagree with our blameless President.

As counter-protester Wanda Jenkins pointed out: "Our boys in the armed services didn't give up their lives so these parasites of freedom could go around openly questioning our godly President. They'd all be speaking German right now it wasn't for us and then almost nobody on CNN could even read their silly signs in English. There were about 150,000 America-haters that walked by me with their stupid Osama-loving signs about peace and stuff. I yelled back at them 'Ya pack of light-in-the-loafers socialists!' You should have seen the look on their faces. I mean to say, that really showed them! I couldn't wait to get back to my computer to tell the gang at Free Republic about my victory over the dirty Libs!"

The national counter-protest was organized by FreeRepublic.Com, a gathering place for people unwavering in their starry-eyed devotion to the infallibility of Mr. and Mrs. George W. Bush. Called "Operation Infinite Freep," the effort was a glorious success, surprising even the most staunch "Freepers" (a clever nickname adopted by the even more clever inhabitants of the implacably loyal, not-afriad-to-gush GOP fan website).

"You know, when you are sitting in your BVDs and holster before breakfast, reading hundreds of posts that say exactly what you had typed late last night, it is a real affirmation knowing that there are so many people who don't question the same things you don't," said Felix Willinghouse. "But to see almost five of my fellow Freepers care enough about what they are typing to actually show up to shout down the peacenik jerks was a real rush. I haven't been this choked up since my seven-year-old bludgeoned an effigy of Janet Reno with his scooter on our front lawn during all that mess over that little commie Cuban boy."

Billy "Bronco" Johnson cries tears of pride when he realizes that he is the only Freeper in Witchita Falls who loves George W. Bush enough to show up for the counter-protest.

"It is clear to me that all of those peaceniks are just damned communists," observed Rhonda Jones on a chilly Columbia, Missouri street corner. "Because that's what communists are always doing – protesting. Just look at those folks in Russia and Chinaland. Protesting their governments all the time. Not a bit of gratitude in any of them. You sort of expect that from filthy foreigners, but here in America, we are a democracy and we don't go in for that type of trouble making and back talk. If you've got a problem with our country's government, then you can exercise your freedom as a American and buy an ticket on Delta and get your ass the Hell out of Dodge."

"I've been posting on Free Republic for about three years now, so I'm not real used to hearing opinions I don't already agree with," said counter-protester and patriot Daryl Hoshnicker. "If a fellow Freeper posts something that don't toe the line then they are thougthful enough to add a "BARF ALERT" warning so the rest of us know not to like it. So it took me a while to stop yelling 'DITTO!' whenever those dang protesters was saying stuff. But as soon as I realized they was not giving 120% support to the most perfect president in American history, George W. Bush, my wife Dixie and I was darned angry we had done left the pistols in the Taurus. Free speech was bought with guns. And it can be silenced with them when it goes too far. Praise the Lord!"

Tonya Watkins holds up her soggy "Let's Roll" sign moments before Lisa Beamer rolled up in her foundation's limousine and demanded a $50 payment for the use of the trademarked term.
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