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In protecting the sanctity of marriages, Mr. Bush has wisely opted for changing our nation's cherished Constitution, rather than making awkward calls to his adulterous father or brother. After all, it's been far too long a time since we told coloreds that they are only 3/5 of a person, resourcefully using the Constitution, a document so limitedly intended to restrict the interferences of government in our private, personal business, as a weapon to denigrate an uppity minority. However, there is so much more Mr. Bush could do in his zeal to appeal to pious Christians so enthusiastic about the idea of marriage that they think it ungrateful to stop at one.
Since the dissolution, rather than the creation, of a marriage tends to more effectively undermine its purported sanctity, shouldn't we promote Jesus' otherwise ignored Word to Constitution level by passing the "Whatsoever God hath joined together, let no man cast asunder" Amendment based on Matthew 19:6? Granted, this is a rather inconvenient proscription, but it was rather adamantly underscored by that killjoy Jesus. While the suspiciously unmarried Jesus never mentioned homosexuals, married or otherwise, He expressly pointed out to His ostensible followers that if they married more than once (one time), they would be committing adultery. (Matthew 5:32 and, for good measure, Matthew 19:9)
But, you know, on second thought, that's rather inconvenient. So let's just forget what Jesus actually said and concentrate on what Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and our handsome President write in solicitations for donations instead. Deal? Good! I feel better already. Don't you?
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