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In trotting out Adam and Eve (not Adam and Stephen – no Old Testament gay worth his pillar of salt would go by the more casual and needy "Steve") as the paradigm of the Lord's idea of what makes the ideal Christian couple, don't neglect to extrapolate the Lord's plan beyond the first generation, dear. Ask yourself how Eve became a grandmother to tots who were either also her children or the offspring of two of her children (you figure out the unseemly details). Once you have figured out this little first-family secret, you will see that in creating Adam and Eve, the Lord meant for us to spice up our Christian marriage with incest – an expectation apparently not lost on large swaths of America.
If there was any question about God's fondness for heterosexual intra-familial familiarity, look no further than the lessons of Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot was the only man in town the Lord thought was holy enough to spare (apparently, offering one's daughters as sexual playthings to strangers doesn't even raise a supernal eyebrow). So, what was the first thing the righteous Lot did after God killed his wife (so much for the sanctity of marriage!) and neighbors? He got rip-roaring drunk and had sex with both of his slutty daughters! Genesis 19:31-36 Sort of makes you wonder what those townsfolk God didn't think were righteous really got up to, doesn't it?
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